How to Survive Black Friday
Because we’d all LOVE to know
It’s finally that time of year! You spend your entire week talking about how grateful you are for your things and your family then once Friday rolls around, you’re like FRICK all of that, I want a brand new TV!
We’re all guilty of greed. It’s human nature, however the trick to greed is to survive it and here’s how.
First of all, check your credit card. Make sure you’re not spending money you don’t have and budget! Let’s say you want a new pair of shoes, some shirts, a new bag and a brand new shiny computer.
What would it cost you normally? Now, cut that in half.
Be Tough. Sounds easy enough, but it’s quite difficult. I would recommend practicing with Mission’s football team so that you can push through crowds of people to get to that one shirt that suddenly costs fifty cents so you figure why not? 🙂
Be Prepared for ANYTHING. Don’t think you’re the only one reading this article and trying to read up on how to be the very best Black Friday shopper. You need to be ready to push, shove, kick, punch, throw, vomit, whatever is needed so you can get your stuff.
Be prepared to be sued for attacking somebody on Black Friday and be prepared to sue someone for punching you. Get that bag, sis!
Payment Method. Whatever you do, DO NOT be the person trying to use their Apple pay to pay for their stuff. Bring cash or that little piece of plastic!
Somebody will hurt you and if you see someone using Apple pay, shove them and buy their stuff and then buy your stuff too. You snooze, you lose!
Stake Your Claim. Choose the stores you want to hit first. If you’re going to the mall, you could probably hit like three stores maybe… but if you are going to Walmart, you are buying stuff that is ONLY in Walmart. You are barely going to leave that place alive.
Have Fun. That’s all it is at the end of the day. We all want to pay less money for a bunch of stuff and you are contributing to society by buying stuff. You are a good person and a good Samaritan. Keep it up.
And most importantly, good luck. 😉