Satire

Tagalong… In Prison

     We all know about the delicious cookies that we get once a year. I hate to tell everyone, but eating these pieces...

SaddleCrack School District switching to AI Teachers

The 21st century is starting to look more and more like a science fiction film everyday, and our school is no exception to these...

Mr. Fukuda: A Science Teacher With Secrets in His Coffin?

 A group of bats has been spotted not one, but multiple times, circling around Fukuda’s door when dusk hits. For many years, the suspicions...

This Year’s Prom Revealed to be Held At Family Restaurant Chuck E Cheese

      It has been revealed that prom will be held at Chuck E Cheese, a place fun for the whole family and...

Titanic II: The Best Movie To Come Out of the Twenty-First Century

     Moving. Attention-Grasping. Astonishing. These words alone show the magnificence of  the revolutionary Titanic mockbuster Titanic II, where the stakes are raised to the extreme...

OUR LAST ISSUE

     Today, April 2nd, marks an inconsolable day for Mission Viejo High School; our stronghold of a newspaper, The Diablo Dispatch, a publication that’s existed...

Mr. Zides Mistaken for Chinese Spy Balloon

     Mission Viejo High School’s very own assistant principal, Michael Zides, was shot down last weekend after being mistaken as a spy balloon. Yes, everybody's...