Pumpkin Spice more like Pumpkin Gross

By: Lydia Curry

*gag noises*

Photo credits to: Dishing JH

It’s finally the end of Fall and so now I can finally bash on all you nasty people who enjoy pumpkin spice and all flavors, really. 

Let me just start off by saying that I enjoy fall flavors, I really do, but come on. You use the same spices to flavor literally everything. 

Fall spices consist of cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, ginger, pumpkin spice (which I don’t even know what that really is, like what does that even mean?), cloves and like tumeric I guess?

And they are ALL DISGUSTING AND OVERRATED. 

Now, I love cinnamon. It’s used all year round in like French toast and stuff, but seriously? You use it flavor your apple pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, sweet potato pie, like the list goes on.

You have to taste this flavor for like three months and it bleeds into December a little bit and that’s not okay! Like, doesn’t anybody get tired of smelling this stuff??

Next we have allspice and I don’t know what that means, so I’ll provide the google answer: “Allspice is a spice made from the dried berries of a plant known as Pimenta dioica, which is a member of the myrtle family. The flavor of allspice brings to mind cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and pepper.”

What??? You mean to tell me that allspice is just all the other fall flavors and pepper put together into one fun little mix.  It’s lazy and it’s disgusting and it’s your fault it even exists in the first place.

I shouldn’t have even started with allspice, like… that just proves my point! These flavors are just overused and they aren’t that good. 

My point, the point to this article, is that these flavors are gross. This is not fine cuisine. This is just laziness. Lazy!

And guess what? The fall time is all about cuddling up and being lazy and that’s bad and it’s just communism!

So therefore, fall flavors are communism. So stop using them. 

 

Latest

“Sucks to be him”: A Renfield Review

    The man, the myth, the legend: Nicolas Cage strolls...

Farewell to Everyone’s Best Bud, Judd

    It was September 1st, 2005 in Mission Viejo when...

Too Cool for School: Mr. Mao to leave MVHS to become stunt double for “The Rock”

     Have you ever noticed how Mr. Meeuwsen eerily resembles...

“Sucks to be him”: A Renfield Review

    The man, the myth, the legend: Nicolas Cage strolls into the room — top hat, cane and all. His pale lips part to reveal...

From Writers to Fighters: The Writers Guild of America puts their “pencils down” for the first Hollywood strike in 15 years

     2007—the year of the first iPhone, the Spice Girls reunion tour, and the infamous finale to the Sopranos. It’s also the year of the...

Farewell to Everyone’s Best Bud, Judd

    It was September 1st, 2005 in Mission Viejo when now-17-year-old Judd Karn came into this world. Being the current Editor-In-Chief for The Diablo Dispatch,...