MVHS’s 2022 Prom Music Leaked!

Brooklyn Baggett
Co-Editor in Chief

Get a sneak peak at what’s going to be played at this year’s prom.

     Mission’s ASB Prom Committee has already been working feverishly at making this year’s prom the best yet- considering that winter formal was on campus and the class of ‘22 missed their junior prom. This includes crafting the perfect playlist for the DJs to mix, and it looks like they’ve already got some ideas cooking. 

     One of our dedicated Dispatch reporters  interviewed an ASB member at the lunch tables by the ASB room last week. When said ASB member got up to leave, they dropped a draft of the playlist, and, well, you’ll see. 

     Listed was an array of upcoming soundcloud rappers, some of which are students at MVHS, who are hoping to make it big one day.

     When confronted about this, a student from ASB stated, “We’ve gotten so many complaints about underground artists not being played at the dances. We thought, you know, there’s a lot of guys out there nowadays mixing their own music, so we talked to some people and we’re charging $200 a song for anyone who wants their music played. Don’t tell anyone that though. We’re trying to keep it lowkey so we don’t overflow with requests.”

     Oops! Sorry about that, ASB, gotta keep it real with our readers, you know?

     Anyways, the playlist draft also read “no explicit music” in bold font, and upon further investigation, it was discovered that this means that the song can’t have any curse words at all, and that censoring them won’t cut it this time.

     “We made this decision because even if the DJs censor vulgar language, it’s almost worse because it leaves this silence where the kids just scream it anyways.”, an administrator, who would like to remain anonymous, stated.

     Because  this restriction eliminates so many popular songs, they have chosen to instead feature songs from the Kidz Bop Ultimate Playlist (2022). This album includes censored versions of everyone’s favorite songs like “Dance Monkey”, “Timber”, “Cake By the Ocean”, “Girls Like You”, “Rather Be”, and so many more.

     Likewise, many other clean songs will be played along with some covers. Hopefully the DJ will come up with some good ways to mix these jams to create the best energy in the crowd. 

     Besides for the DJ, there will be a special appearance from Pitbull during the last 30-45 minutes of the dance, as a sort of “grand finale” to prom. 

     Read “Prom is going to be the ‘Time of Our Lives’” on the Entertainment page for more info on this once in a lifetime experience. 

     Obviously, with Mission’s prom still over a month away, a lot of the plans, including the music, are still in the works at the moment. 

     We won’t know exactly what this year’s prom will look like until the big night comes, but it sure seems like it’s going to be a lot different than any other dance before on the music end of things.

 

This is an April Fools’ article

Latest

The Movie of the Millenium: “Foodfight!”

     “You cold-farted itch,” says Foodfight! protagonist Dex Dogtective, who...

DEFINITELY OUR LAST ISSUE

     It was around this time last year that The...

What would happen if we see a rematch in the 2024 election?

     Millions of people across America are feeling a very...

Color Guard Isn’t Just a Sport — It’s a Family.

Color guard is so much more than throwing rifles...

The Movie of the Millenium: “Foodfight!”

     “You cold-farted itch,” says Foodfight! protagonist Dex Dogtective, who is a dog and a detective, and also the owner of the Copabanana nightclub (voiced...

DEFINITELY OUR LAST ISSUE

     It was around this time last year that The Diablo Dispatch announced its closing. After 589 years, our well-respected publication feared our final defeat.      The...

What would happen if we see a rematch in the 2024 election?

     Millions of people across America are feeling a very specific way; a feeling that can only be expressed as ‘needing a bigger boat.’ Relief...