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The Contraversial New Smoking Age Law

Megan LeBoff
Staff Writer

The smoking age in U.S officially changes to 21 years old

Credit: Pexels

     On December 19, 2019, President Trump signed a bill to raise the legal smoking age from 18 to 21. The new law prohibits the vending of cigarettes and e-cigarettes to anyone under the age of 21, and went into effect at the start of 2020. The new law comes at a time when the government faces pressure to reduce the rate of smoking among teenagers. 

     The raise of smoking age had bipartisan help in the Senate, and was co-written by Democrats Brian Schatz and Dick Durbin, and Republicans Mitt Romney and Todd Young, CNN reported. These senators have been campaigning for the limitation for quite a while, lastly making it happen by connecting it to a series of must-pass bills to avoid an administration shutdown.

    While raising the legal age limit of tobacco use from 18 to 21 is a significant accomplishment for the White House, 19 states and a few urban communities had already passed legislation to raise the tobacco purchasing age to 21. As said by Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, these states include Washington, Arkansas, Virginia, California, Utah, Illinois, Connecticut, Vermont, Delaware, Texas, Hawaii, Pennsylvania, Maine, Massachusetts, Maryland, New Jersey, Ohio, New York, and Oregon.

     Surprisingly, the new law has received a great deal of backing from cigarette and e-cigarette companies. Those in the cigarette and e-cigarette enterprises see it as a way to reduce the public’s anger about their campaigning to the younger audience.

     As indicated by certain doubters of the move, raising the age to 21 makes no sense when 18-year-olds can serve in the military, go into legal contracts, and get married. Additionally, raising the legal smoking age may increase the illegal vending of cigarettes and e-cigarettes.

   On the other hand, raising the smoking age from 18 to 21 will most likely save lives.  A 2015 report from the Institute of Medicine (IOM) discovered raising the smoking age to 21 could help prevent approximately 223,000 premature deaths among Americans born between 2000 and 2019.

        The new law is very controversial, but whether  it will actually do any good, time will tell.

Cupid is Stupid

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Madison Burnam
Staff Writer

Valentines Day, a day seemingly filled with love and passion.  Though those aren’t the only sentiments held on this special day especially regarding how utterly stupid the holiday is.  

Credit: Pinterest

     Valentine’s Day was a day practically engineered by capitalism to make emotions worth a monetary value.  Nothing is more sexy than an overpriced bouquet of flowers, of chocolates, jewelry, reservation or plushies-literally I could go on and on about how many businesses are making a quick buck on the holiday.  

     It’s no wonder why couples seem to think objects can make each other happy.  The total spending cost of $18.2 billion on Valentine’s Day is being funneled back into commercials and ads that are made to engineer thinking just like this.  Though apparently America is willing to throw their money at these charms and jewelry, with the average American spending $133 on Valentine’s Day according to the National Retail Federation.  

     What’s up with all these high standards for gifts anyways?  If Valentine’s Day was truly about showing your love to someone else, why do you have to blow your bank account on some stupid necklace called “chocolate gold”.  Wouldn’t a homemade gift from memories shared together be worth more than any Pandora charm.  

      Speaking of Pandora and other jewelry companies their shiny trinkets are usually overpriced, with their cheapest charm $40 being a hedgehog called Nino which is only .524 inches high.  Speaking of over priced, ‘chocolate gold’ necklaces sell at their lowest value for $80 on Amazon which is, ludicrous considering that you’re just buying brown gold.  

       Isn’t the purpose of Valentine’s Day not built upon goofy gifts to appease a status quo that your relationship is working but a day filled with soft moments between a couple instead of a preening contest of who can have the biggest gift for their significant other.  

    How does one say no to all this Valentine’s Day fervor without coming off as a Scrooge yelling “Bah Humbug!” This surrounding mentality has intoxicated the very relationships it promotes, forcing couples to become something else to appear as a ‘good couple’.  

     Society is so obsessed with playing matchmaker they don’t realize all the negative stigma it begins to create towards those they can’t idolize in being in a fairy tale perfect relationship.  The singles appear bad because unlovable to people who think no one wants to date them and any couples not competing for the biggest mirror to admire their ‘perfection’ in are seen as not seen as happy as those who decide to burn themselves out on said lush gifts.  

     It’s about high time society butts their head out of other people’s relationships.  Leave couples to their own devices, they don’t need a day to celebrate themselves if they are really happy in their relationship, everyday feels like what Valentine’s Day should be.  

     Therefore Valentine’s Day should be the equivalent of a weird national holiday, like National Hot Dog Day where it would be a pleasant acknowledgement to how much work and dedication a relationship takes, not some overpriced social media post that is skipped over with the flick of a finger.  

     I will close out with only two sentiments; one, Valentine’s Day as of now is a holiday that puts a price tag on love; and two, Netflix is the best part of Valentine’s Day.  

Donald Trump and the Death of an Iranian General

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By: Eja Fromm

The world wonders if another World War is at stake as Iran and the U.S. engage in concerning conflicts. 

     On January 3rd, top Iranian General Qassem Soleimani was killed in a drone strike orchestrated by the United States government.

     Trump had ordered for the death of Soleimani nearly seven months ago, under certain conditions; if Soleimani’s actions led to the death of an American, Trump could order the command to kill him. 

     Relations with Iran had already been tense since Trump’s decision to remove the United States from the Iran nuclear deal. The deal would have Iran redesign and repurpose its nuclear facilities while the economic sanctions on them would be lifted in return. 

     However, when Trump pulled out of the deal on the grounds that Iran’s aggressiveness violated its nature, Tehran later released a statement that they were no longer inclined to obey certain parts of the deal.

     Since July of 2019, Iran has slowly been reducing the committments they initially agreed to at the start of the deal, gradually increasing its uranium enrichment while other nations invovled in the deal scramble to save what’s left. 

     This caused some tension between all national bodies involved in the Iran nuclear deal as Iran, concerned that more Western nations would pull out and impose more economic sanctions, gradually pulled back on the deal while the United States isolated itself from the position of its other allies.

     Trump has been concerned with Iran’s actions, believing them to be increasingly hostile and worrying. Since 1979, Iran has been investing significantly in proxy groups and allies throughout the Middle East in order to wreak havoc and terror while expanding their sphere of influence in the region.  

     In one of their attacks in Iraq, they killed a U.S. contractor and four U.S. service members, leaving Trump with the decision to kill Soleimani. 

     The air strike that killed him on January 3rd took place near Baghdad International Airport, killing nine others beside Soleimani, including Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis who had been a deputy commander in Iran and listed as a terrorist in the United States. 

     Iran responded fiercely, threatening the U.S. with retaliation which eventually was fulfilled. On January 8th, Iran launched several ballistic missiles onto U.S. military bases in Iraq which had no deaths but several casualties. On the same day, Iran also shot down a plane, killing 176 people who were mostly Iranian graduates visiting families in the country. 

     After the Iran’s strike took place, Trump released a statement that seemed to alleviate the situation, saying that U.S. would not use violent force as a response to the situation unless Iran forced our hand.  

    Although Trump initially stated that none of the troops had been injured, 50 U.S. service members were diagnosed with brain trauma as a result of the attacks. Trump seemed to downplay the injuries stating that he heard they had headaches but not elaborating further upon that. 

     Essentially, the attacks that took place on the new year set a scary time on the new year, with many believing it could be the start to another world war. Thankfully, it seems that neither side went so far as to declare any action such as that. 

     However, with the United States holding its stand against Iran, it will be interesting to see the development of relations between these nations.

First Memes of 2020

The memes that will decide the fate of the meme community for the rest of the year.

Photo Credits: Ranker

     The meme community makes memes out of the most controversial topics like World War Three and the Coronavirus. The so-called meme community is a bunch of people usually on Reddit who wants to have a good time and make fun out of controversial ideas. Usually, there is no ill intent towards people it’s just for fun.

     First memes of 2020 and the most popular meme so far are the World War Three memes. People say that it is the first meme of 2020 and maybe the last. 

      James Charles a youtube celebrity decided to have some fun with the meme but after he made a post about it he received tons of backlash. He posted a tweet saying “When the government knocking on the door for the draft” followed by four pictures of him dressed as a female.

     Other influencers brought light to this meme such as Pewdiepie in a meme review. The subject of the meme is serious but the community bonded over it and just wants a fun time.

     For example, the text reads“Me laughing about the World War 3 memes vs.me when I get that draft letter” with a side by side or a guy being happy and the guy crying.

     World War three memes don’t have any specific format to it, The meme is also slowly but surely fading away. It also only has been about a month since the meme surfaced so it goes to show how jumpy the meme community is.

     Another popular meme that came about is the plus 25 Uno card meme. It is a write ur own card and it would say something you would not want to do or plus 25 cards. For example, “call or text your most recent ex or draw 25”.

     One of the popular memes now is the Coronavirus. Even though it is a real disease. It does not have any specific format but it is a widely known meme that spread quite fast globally.

     Another meme that is relevant right now is SpongeBob by a fire with a piece of paper. The meme is formatted into four quadrants. The first one is just a blank paper, then the second one is SpongeBob looking at the paper. The third one is sponge bob throwing the paper into the fire then lastly he warming his hands in the fire.

     All of these memes show that memes flow in and out of relevancy on the internet. Anything can change in an instant when it comes to the meme community.

     All of them have their time to shine but comes with a downfall like we are seeing in WW3 memes. The memes will never stop rolling in with every new idea that comes five more in the meme community.

When Good-natured Trash Talk Hits Home

By: Nicole Burns

Photo Credits: 1 Million Cups

Mission Viejo High School has earned the right to be proud, but when does it go too far?

     Being a student at Mission Viejo High, it is rare to go the whole four years without attending any form of a sporting event. Whether it’s the football games or one of the many star sports MVHS covets, Mission is without a doubt an athlete’s school. 

     Since MVHS is stellar in multiple sports including football, soccer, basketball, track and field, and many, many more, the student body is used to acting confident in the crowd. The games for any successful sport are nowhere near quiet, often heading towards deafening more often than not. 

    However, when it comes to the MVHS student section, pride and entitlement will rear their ugly head in the bullying chants and rude comments. 

     The first time Mission Viejo students showed this ugly side of them and actually got reprimanded for it was early in the first semester, way back in football season. Santa Margarita High School, a Catholic school, was losing a game against the diablos and our student section thought it would be a good idea to start chanting “God can’t help you.” To a Catholic school.

     Now, this could have been an innocent mistake, lost in the heat of the game. Mr. Zides told everyone to knock it off so they did, but it didn’t end with football season. 

     At a basketball game on January 6th, 2020, MVHS played Trabuco Hills High School. On this basketball team, there was a certain player that was not as skinny as the other players and was getting more out of breath. Instead of cheering for the Diablos, groups of students in the stands took to chanting “we have chocolate” and “want some water?” 

     The targeting is where it becomes too much. It goes from sportsmanship to outright cruelty and bullying. Mission students have become so entitled they forget where the game starts and where the game ends. The inferno has turned ugly with pride as they boo the opposite team constantly, chant cruel things, and much worse. 

    When Sydney Wilks, a senior at MVHS, was asked if she saw entitlement in the sports crowds she says, “Just because we are undefeated, doesn’t mean we have to be high and mighty about it. That’s why all of the other schools in the area hate us because we have such a bad attitude about winning.”

     Mission needs to realize that yes, as Diablos, we can be proud, but there is a point where it gets to be too far. Although the devil is in our name, we don’t have to torture the other teams. There is a difference between biting back at schoolyard taunts to seeking out players and screaming at them from the stands. 

     MVHS needs an entitlement check and a lesson in sportsmanship before we head into next year’s football season. Hopefully, the class of ‘24 brings some kindness into our student section. 

Balancing a Job and High School

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Eja Fromm
Staff Writer

School is already stressful and complex enough, but imagine dealing with a job as well. 

Photo creds: https://www.moneyandbills.com/high-school-job/

     A good majority of high school students balance having a job and school everyday. According to a study led by the University of Michigan, 1 in 4 high school students that are 16 or older in America have a job. 

     It isn’t an easy task time managing going to work, and still finding time for homework, projects, family, friends, and extracurricular activities. It’s a lot to deal with for teenagers with enough responsibilities to manage already in everyday life. 

     There are many pros, however, of having a job at an early age such as gaining communication skills, developing a work ethic, and learning important values that will help later in life. Students also develop an appreciation of money and learn to not take it for granted. 

     Some high school students get jobs that include some of their hobbies. For example, over the Summer, Power Aquatics hires former or current athletes that were a part of their program to teach kids how to swim or how to play water polo. This way, high school students enjoy what they’re doing because they feel more connected to the job as they already have experience and fully understand what they are teaching. 

     Almost every job that high school students can do involve working with other people and dealing with customers. Working in restaurants can be difficult as sophomore Sage Mccorgary stated, “At work customers treat me lesser than others because they are older than me.” She works at Riptide Sushi.

     Pleasing customers can be a challenge as Emily Hendries who works at Starbucks mentioned, “Customers are often picky and don’t actually know what they want, but the customer is ‘always right’ and you have to make them happy even when they’re wrong.”

      Junior, Maddie Schwartz, has a very busy life as she is in IB, is on the varsity water polo team, and works for Cal Elite Swim School. 

     Schwartz works for the experience and mentioned how she enjoys, “how fulfilling it is to complete everything and be accredited for my accomplishments.”

     She loves teaching kids how to swim but also feels stressed with the little time she has to study and time to spend with family and friends, “Though I find school and work very enjoyable, everyone needs some type of relaxation and time for themselves.” 

      Although having a job does bring more stress and can cause a distraction from education, it builds character and is possible with good time management. It can also bring life long friends and new opportunities. 

     Having a job also builds having independance and lets teenagers explore future career interests. For example, there are summer jobs and internships that students can volunteer at to explore an interest they have in a possible future career.

     According to ziprecruiter.com, the best jobs for high school students include being a barista, lifeguard, tutor, waiter/waitress, and food delivery driver. These are all very possible jobs to find in Southern California as there are so many opportunities. 

     Most high school students are making minimum wage. The minimum wage in California is twelve dollars per hour. 

     All in all, having a job can increase stress and take away a lot of time from everyday life, but it can also be a great and fulfilling experience as well. 

Dating Diablos: Michael Murg’s Fiery Date

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Michael Murg
Staff Writer

I, Michael Murg was put on a Blind date, in attempt to perhaps find love just in time for Valentine’s day, however plans never workout exactly how envisioned, and it’s most certainly fair to apply that to this blind date.

The beginning of a perfect date
Photo credits: Danielle Babineau

     If you know me the slightest bit well, you know I’m single. In fact, I’ve been single for so long that when my journalism class wanted to do an article for valentines day and make one of us go on a blind date, I hopped on that train faster than you could say “lonely.” 

     It took some time for this article’s “producer”, Ethan Haque, to find me a date. Many people said no to the idea, which certainly didn’t make me feel great, but Ethan, with the assistance of fellow classmates, Danielle Babineau and Jaden Muller, finally found me a date. I was completely oblivious to who this secret person was. 

     The date was set for 6:30 PM on Friday night at the Haque household. A luxurious dinner would be served by my “personal chef”, Ethan Haque, which I thought would be a good look for my date. Danielle Babineau and Jaden Muller would be the servers for the evening, delivering, bussing, and refilling. 

     So the date was planned, I got home from Lacrosse practice, spiffied up, dressed up in slacks, a white collared shirt, and a formal jacket. I thought this would be a good touch to look nice for my date, “’Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man”-ZZ Top.

     So there I was, sitting in the Ethan Haques dining room, blindfolded, awaiting my unknown guest. However, this is where the first mistake happened- not from me however. Ethan walked through his sliding glass door and said, “Guys, Gabbi’s almost here…” I could hear the slap of Ethan’s hand covering his mouth as he had just given away the first name of the secret person, “Gabbi”. Not to mention Danielle and Jaden yelling at him for doing the one thing he shouldn’t have. 

     However, the surprise was not completely lost for me. This because, I know of two Gabbis’, so it turned into a fifty-fifty chance of which one it would be. The coin flip chance was answered, when my date arrived, and I was unblindfolded to see none other than Gabbi Hoopes, a senior at Mission Viejo high School.

     I knew Gabbi before this night, for we have known of each other since elementary school and so on, however we had never talked much through all this time. 

     All first dates have some amount of awkwardness to them. Forced smiles, hug or no hug, maybe starting a conversation, however, the awkwardness for this date only lasted for about a minute. Perhaps it was because I had a list of questions for her, as if she was being interviewed for the paper (which she kind of was), but once I got my first question, “what’s your favorite movie”, and she answered, “I really like the Grand Budapest Hotel.”

     From there I never had to refer back to my list, conversation flowed like milk does from the carton. We talked about future aspirations, Mexican restaurants in Utah, assuming political views based off of appearance, and so much more. 

     Ethan prepared a starter of Hummus, Pita chips, and strawberries, which although looked delightful, neither of us cared for hummus and the appetizer went to waste. But there is something important in agreeing to dislike food. At that point Gabbi and I had something in common; we didn’t like hummus. A bond was forming. 

    After, the main course was served. Mastro’s could not have served a better looking steak, with a sweet potato, regular potato, and asparagus, drizzled with butter sauce. The steak tasted even better than it looked, cooked to perfection, great taste, and those nice little grill marks that seal the deal.

     Although things were going well, they were about to go up in flames; literally. Gabbi and I were talking and eating, when a multitude of screams and yells erupted from the kitchen. Gabbi and I looked at each other and decided to inspect what was going on. 

     “The pie is on fire!”, screamed Jaden Muller. Ethan haque with oven mitts was running out the slide glass door, to allow the smoke to escape the kitchen, and proceeding to grab the dog bowl to put the fire out. As this was happening all so very fast, Jaden and Danielle informed us that they had everything under control and that we should continue to dine in the next room.

     So we tried to do just that, however it was fairly hard to concentrate on eachother, while yells of fear, fury, and  accusations were being echoed across the Haque household from the kitchen. 

     If one thing is for sure, I certainly will not be hiring them as waitresses from here on out, and I would say the same for Mr. Haque, but the steak was too good to take such actions.

     In my opinion, the rest of the date went well, our conversation flowed from “racist family members”, to “favorite classical composer”, and we were able to agree and respectfully disagree on some areas too.

      Dinner commenced, we hung out for a little bit, but eventually said our goodbyes for the evening. After the first date’s goodbyes both members respectively can either feel distaste for the time they spent together or know there is perhaps potential for a relationship, or somewhere in between. 

     I think it’s fair to say I didn’t feel bad one bit after I closed the door, and actually felt refreshed from the night’s events. 

     Days after the date, Gabbi was asked what her favorite part of the date was, she said, “When we talked about movies and stuff.” And when asked if she would go out again she answered, “Possibly”. (At this point ‘possibly’ is pretty good news for me)

      So, was this the date that would change my life forever? Well, probably not, but perhaps the next one may be. I felt this date served my soul well, in that it gave me a good time with a member of the opposite gender, which frankly had been missing for some time. 

Stupid Apathetic Test

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Madison Burnam
Staff Writer

The real reasoning of the SAT and more about its cursed existence.  

      “Hey, when are you taking the SAT?” It’s the question juniors fear and for a good and soon to be explained reason. The SAT has been under fire lately and I for one will stroke the flames.  

     When thinking of the value of the SAT, one must consider, ‘what do they get from this test?’ The answer is; negative five.  

     I preach this message because I know the pain the SAT brings. I was forced to spend my summer not on a shining warm beach with rolling waves; but cooped up in a dark, hot, and bleak test-taking room of a preparatory organization for ‘improving’ on the SAT. I can sadly say that I have taken practice Scholastic Aptitude Tests over twenty times. So take my word when I say there is nothing but pain in that booklet you bought for 50 dollars.  

     The SAT feeds off of the societal pressure to get into college and acts as a pseudo gatekeeper to get into colleges, even though it is an inaccurate measure of one’s knowledge. An individual’s ability to learn new skills shouldn’t be dictated by a test that grades largely off of memory instead of comprehension. The extent of the SAT’s required comprehension is that you know how to plug in variables to a formula and remember oddly specific rules.  

     That’s not the only problem the SAT instigates. The SAT also creates this hostile brawl among students for the perfect 1600. This dangerous mentality of competition only increases student test anxiety and fear that they won’t be good enough, especially compared to their peers. 

     This mentality can be found in almost any junior waiting to take the test, most juniors like Ben Nguyen with sentiments like “I can truthfully say that the darkest time in my life has been around the SAT, making me contemplate about my place and value in the world and how it, if I should, belong in it.”  

     Though students aren’t the only ones applying pressure the parents of many students are often a pushing force for academics in general. This pushing force the constant expectancy of a perfect score from parents is slowly destroying the very confidence of their children.  

     Though when one really looks at the SAT, it’s not only our self-esteem and hopes that are destroyed but also our piggy banks. The SAT costs around 50 dollars without the essay and around 65 dollars with the essay. Further backing this idea that we must pay for an opportunity to prove ourselves even though our merits should already be reflected in our transcripts and even in all the volunteer services we do.   

     Not to forget that it is predicted that someone will only reach their target score after an average of four times. Which adds up to a total of 200 dollars at least.  

     The SAT merely reiterates your knowledge of the past six years of schooling, because looking at your grades and transcripts is apparently not as reliable as taking the SAT. I am all for remembering important information throughout the years but it is downright dirty to get a low SAT score just because you forgot the unit circle.  

     Not only is the SAT destroying the emotional state and the piggy banks of its test-takers but also their chances. Now let me explain, the SAT promises to grade students equally without discrimination this is all and fine until companies begin to pop up taking advantage of this; prep schools that have an intimate relationship with the Collegeboard.  

     These SAT prep programs destroy the SAT’s hopes of grading fairly and without discrimination because now the SAT has created jobs and companies that not only give the methods for studying for the SAT but only to those who can pay for it.  

     Thus creating a huge discrimination line where the richer get the opportunity to attend college and have countless possibilities but the poor can’t improve their situation for a test they are taking for the first and only time because they can’t afford to take it at a leisure of four times to get their ‘ideal’ score.  

     Also if you haven’t noticed by this point, the SAT is run by the Collegeboard; the same corporation that runs the AP tests. Which if you could recall their payment dues were moved up to the beginning of the year. The reasoning for such an odd action is the Collegeboard’s greed for the green dollar. The earlier they move up payment dues the less time students have to second guess if this test is really for them.  

     The SAT doesn’t care about you, that much is obvious. The SAT cares about its continued existence, it wasn’t made for the type of individuality that we all have, it wasn’t made to accurately represent our growth, it wasn’t made to represent the journey we have taken to get to this point. The SAT wasn’t made for students, it was made for those who can only boast that they will believe 180 minutes of basic level questions can change their lives and those are no longer students they are merely slaves to this system.  

 

Future School Schedule Changes

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By: Grace Schultz

Photo xcredits: Freepix

More sleep or more hastel

     As of recently, in early October, a bill was passed in California to push back school start times in middle schools and high schools to no earlier than 8:30 am. Of course, immediate opposition and support rang out from people of all ages. For parents, one of the biggest discretions is how to get their kids to school on time while also complying with their work schedule.

    Although the bill was just passed, there is a three year period in place for the changes to be planned and implemented by the beginning of 2022-23. The benefits that this simple change could bring are numerous, but the main goal is allowing for more sleep. 

 This bill could be a big step forward to students getting better sleep, but it is also up to the students to show that they will use the extra time wisely. Rather than sitting on your phone for an extra hour at night, at least keep your regular bed time.

     An unfortunate downside for students is the possible later dismissal time, which would in turn affect the end times of sports practices and other extracurricular activities. For some, this negative effect discounts the entirety of the later start times because the students would get to bed even later, cancelling out the extra time in the morning.

      For this to not cancel out the benefits of the extra hour we would get in the morning, it may mean that we have to sacrifice something in return or work to plan ways to change things. Making change takes time and effort and everyone must work together to find the best solutions so as to procure the best possible outcome.

    Studies done by the CDC show that “students should get the proper amount of sleep at night to help stay focused, improve concentration, and improve academic performance”. A national survey conducted in 2015 showed that “about 7 out of 10 students (72.7%) in highschool did not get enough sleep on school nights and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends “8-10 hours” per day. 

      School start times have not always been as early as they are today and in fact only became this way about 40 years ago. As of the late 1900’s, school’s began making their start times earlier when little was known about sleep cycles, to save money, or better align the hours with after school schedules. 

      That change from over forty years ago continues to be detrimental to students sleep habits and in school focus today. The shift to earlier hours proves the capability for collective change and shows that adjusting to later hours is not impossible.

     Differences in opinion on this new bill and its effectiveness will follow it to and long past the date of official enactment, but this will not change the inevitable. Depending on when Mission admin plan to implement this schedule change, many of the students currently attending MVHS or very few will be affected.

      By the school year of 2022-23, you may no longer hear the phrase “I’m tired” anymore.

How to Survive Black Friday

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Lydia Curry
Staff Writer

Because we’d all LOVE to know

Photocredit to revinate.com

It’s finally that time of year! You spend your entire week talking about how grateful you are for your things and your family then once Friday rolls around, you’re like FRICK all of that, I want a brand new TV!

We’re all guilty of greed. It’s human nature, however the trick to greed is to survive it and here’s how.

First of all, check your credit card. Make sure you’re not spending money you don’t have and budget! Let’s say you want a new pair of shoes, some shirts, a new bag and a brand new shiny computer. 

What would it cost you normally? Now, cut that in half. 

Be Tough. Sounds easy enough, but it’s quite difficult. I would recommend practicing with Mission’s football team so that you can push through crowds of people to get to that one shirt that suddenly costs fifty cents so you figure why not? 🙂

Be Prepared for ANYTHING. Don’t think you’re the only one reading this article and trying to read up on how to be the very best Black Friday shopper. You need to be ready to push, shove, kick, punch, throw, vomit, whatever is needed so you can get your stuff. 

Be prepared to be sued for attacking somebody on Black Friday and be prepared to sue someone for punching you. Get that bag, sis!

Payment Method. Whatever you do, DO NOT be the person trying to use their Apple pay to pay for their stuff. Bring cash or that little piece of plastic! 

Somebody will hurt you and if you see someone using Apple pay, shove them and buy their stuff and then buy your stuff too. You snooze, you lose!

Stake Your Claim. Choose the stores you want to hit first. If you’re going to the mall, you could probably hit like three stores maybe… but if you are going to Walmart, you are buying stuff that is ONLY in Walmart. You are barely going to leave that place alive.

Have Fun. That’s all it is at the end of the day. We all want to pay less money for a bunch of stuff and you are contributing to society by buying stuff. You are a good person and a good Samaritan. Keep it up. 

And most importantly, good luck. 😉