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Too Cool for School: Mr. Mao to leave MVHS to become stunt double for “The Rock”

Jim Marsoobian -
     Have you ever noticed how Mr. Meeuwsen eerily resembles Bill Murray? Or how Mr. Tickler and Ty Burell could be twins? Or, most accurately,...
Satire

Mission is banning phone usage permanently!

MVHS Staff -
Next month, Mission Viejo High School will implement signal jammers across the school.      There have been a number of issues regarding technology in our school;...
Satire

The Ultimate Crossover

MVHS Staff -
 To all of the fantasy fanatics, Walt Disney Studios and Warner Bros. Pictures have decided to make the perfect crossover movie. Between the franchises...
Satire

Tagalong… In Prison

MVHS Staff -
     We all know about the delicious cookies that we get once a year. I hate to tell everyone, but eating these pieces...
Satire

SaddleCrack School District switching to AI Teachers

Aubrey Bertino -
The 21st century is starting to look more and more like a science fiction film everyday, and our school is no exception to these...
Satire

Mr. Fukuda: A Science Teacher With Secrets in His Coffin?

MVHS Staff -
 A group of bats has been spotted not one, but multiple times, circling around Fukuda’s door when dusk hits. For many years, the suspicions...
Satire

This Year’s Prom Revealed to be Held At Family Restaurant Chuck E Cheese

Sophie Mclean -
      It has been revealed that prom will be held at Chuck E Cheese, a place fun for the whole family and...
Satire

Titanic II: The Best Movie To Come Out of the Twenty-First Century

Sophie Mclean -
     Moving. Attention-Grasping. Astonishing. These words alone show the magnificence of  the revolutionary Titanic mockbuster Titanic II, where the stakes are raised to the extreme...
Satire

OUR LAST ISSUE

MVHS Staff -
     Today, April 2nd, marks an inconsolable day for Mission Viejo High School; our stronghold of a newspaper, The Diablo Dispatch, a publication that’s existed...
Satire

April Fools! A Pablo Story

Sarah Green -
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Latest

LaMelo Ball To Be New MVHS Basketball Head Coach.

    Are you thinking of joining the MVHS Basketball team? Well this year is the best year to do it! Our two head coaches Mr....

Is the Movie Industry Going Downhill?

     When looking back at my childhood, some of my fondest memories are of my family's monthly outing to the movies. Routinely, we would drive...

Review: Don’t Be Dumb, Listen to A$AP Rocky’s Newest Album.

     Sometimes, A$AP Rocky “might forget what love is” (according to his hit song, Punk Rocky), but after listening to his newest album,...

Was Volume 1 Weird? Yes; But We’ve Seen Stranger Things

     On November 26th, 2025, Netflix released the first four episodes of the hit television series, Stranger Things. So far, it's been a...

D4VD and The Murder of Celeste Rivas Hernandez

     D4VD, whose real name is David Anthony Burke, is now a major suspect in the murder of Celeste Rivas Hernandez. Celeste Rivas Hernandez was...

2025: A Year in Review

The year 2025 had been a year of change, reflection, and adjustment. People all over the world continued to face the challenges left over...

MVHS Marching Band and Color Guard wins first place.

Taking first place in the 2A division with a score of 73.82, The MVHS Marching Band and Color Guard was victorious at the Champions...

MVHS Marching Band and Color Guard Wins Fifth Division Championships

       On November 22, 2025, the Mission Viejo Marching Band and Color Guard took first place in 2A Division Championships for the Western Band Association. ...

Mission Viejo Wrestling Insight

     Mission Viejo Wrestling is one of the sports at Mission Viejo that anyone, girl or boy, can attend. As the class isn't...
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