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A Summary & Review of The Aptly Named Bully Plays

Judd Karn
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A Summary & Review of The Aptly Named Bully Plays

Judd Karn
Online Editor

Drama 3’s “The Bully Plays,” clocking in at 65 minutes, has a pretty straightforward premise.

The Cast of “The Bully Plays”

     The play, or should I say plays, consists of a compilation of anecdotes revolving around bullying. Originally compiled by Linda Habjan and directed by MVHS drama teacher Lisa Goin, the show features 9 separate plays (although the full compilation features 24 plays), similar to MVHS Drama’s last performance, “Almost, Maine”; each play has its own twist that makes it comedic/intriguing in its own way and provides a good message for the audience to consider about bullying. 

     The first play, “The Bully Pulpit”, featured student president candidate Barbara (Anna Mut) make a speech promising to prevent bullying at all costs, this is ironically juxtaposed with the way the audience sees Barbara treat the people who manage her campaign, which is absolutely horrendously, telling her best friend, Katie (Anna Rodeheaver), that she should break up with her boyfriend because he is telling her to stand up for herself against Barbara and twists it to try to convince Katie that her boyfriend is the bully.

    The second play, “Alex” (my personal favorite), features only one character, Alex (Katie McCarthty), as she tells her father of all the bullying and bad things that are going on in school, but while doing this she purposely avoids telling him about her personal grievances involving bullying.

    The third play, “A Bully There Be,” is one of the most farfetch’d of the 9 plays, taking place in medieval times and focusing on a Prince (Ella Njike Chatien) who abuses his jester (Griffin Bacon) and serving girl (Maya Garcia), I found the message to be lacking in this particular play, I guess you could say that the message was that even the most powerful people in the world are insecure (the plot focuses on the insecurities of the Prince) but the ending where the serving girl focuses the prince to not harass any of his royal subjects anymore if she kisses him seems like a lot a bit of a stretch, but to be fair the plays are centered around being fairly lighthearted.

     The fourth play, “Downhill,” follows a pretty simple message, bullying rolls downhill. This is portrayed through a parent, Michaela (Lily Rezvani), being yelled out by her employer, Cynthia (Liliana Seaver), for being an embarrassment to the company, this negative attitude rolls downhill to the parent’s daughter, Jackie (Elena Shumaker), who then bullies a student, Tracy (Evie Sisk) to try to get math homework done for them, this cycle finally ends when Tracy initially gets mad at her sister Emma (Izzy Maclennan) but then realizes that she should not take out her anger on someone who does not deserve it. Although the play had a pretty simple concept it executed it well and the portrayal of it by the actors was executed extremely well.

     The fifth play, “Bystander Blues,” is the most depressing of the 9 plays, featuring elements of depression, regret, and suicide. Katie (Emily Calzada) is constantly bullied by Johnny (Mark Garcia) and Samantha (Ella) while 3 bystanders (Maddeie Beymer, Sophia Rad, and Parker Carlisle) watch by and let it happen, the next day Katie doesn’t show up and it could be inferred from the diction that she had killed herself (they reference her in the past tense). This ending was very unforeseen for me, I did not expect the plays to cover topics aht serious, especially after the four prior more lighthearted plays.

     The sixth play, “A Bunch of Clowns,” uses the partly abstract metaphor of a circus to portray the reasoning for people becoming bullies. Their is a ringmaster (Avery Harrington), a metaphor for the societal standard, who informs the new kid (Bella Grasso) that she has to be one of the three clowns, the bully (McLaren Booth), the bullee/victim (Brooke Metoyer), and the bystander (Izzy MacLennan). With only these three options the most fun and interesting option is the bully, so it would be obvious that the new kid would join the bully in bullying the victim, but then the new kid is asked to the bully and the bully realizes how bad being the victim is, and so tells the new kid to bully the ringmaster, but the new kid realizes that she does not have to be these three people and she can instead be her own person.

    The seventh play, “Gasp, Farrah, Monster,” covers three separate stories, one about a young man (Eren Sarik) who tells the audience about how he bullied a kid in school years back and tells us how he realizes now how wrong it was; the second covers a young woman (Jordan Lausten) who had been bullied after an untrue rumor was spread about her being a wild girl, people then began calling her “T girl” (t for tramp) she thought about taking pills to cope with the pain and the constant embarrassment; the third introduces us to a woman who calls herself a monster (Maya Garcia), she tells us about how she was bullied and beat down and from this she was able to build up a wall, that she now uses today to be a ruthless businesswoman. While the play was not bad I felt that the play would have been much better if the three stories were cohesive (in that the monster, young woman, and young man mentioned one of each other in their story/could be inferred that one of them knew the other).

    The eight play, “We’re Your Friends,” covers toxic relationships and peer pressure. Stacy (Katie McCarthy) is a student in high school who is constantly put down by her ‘friends’ who tell her she looks bad in her clothes and tell her to aim low, they also peer pressure into bringing alcohol to the theater and threaten to tell on her if she does not drink. While they do this bullying they make Stacy the third wheel, their toy to play with and criticize however they want.

    The ninth play, “Bully Bully,” is the other contender for the most out there play of the 9, featuring an anthropomorphic dog, Ted (Brooke Metoyer), and a reflection of the main character, J’Neece’s (Rachel Bolich), past self, Janis, (Hannah Stonebarger)–she changed her name because she found Janis to be a boring name–the play uses these three characters to represent J’Neece’s train of thought and let us know that she is focusing too much on trying to be popular, purposefully not caring about schoolwork and pretending to not know it when she does, and disregarding her dog and in place working on cheerleading or, when her mother (Anna Mut) asks her to, nothing. The inclusion of the creative characters allowed the play to still be comedic and entertaining while covering the thought process of a 14 year old coming of age.

    “The Bully Plays” successfully executes a comedic play while also featuring messages about the harmful impacts of bullying. The messages are not groundbreaking but more like platitudes (think “treat people how you want to be treated”), but to be fair that is all the message people can have to be encouraged to stop bullying, they just have to realize that they are hurting someone and take action to stop it.

#BanTheSpeedos Becomes a Reality

MVHS Staff
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#BanTheSpeedos Becomes a Reality

Eja Fromm
Co Editor In-Chief

Due to recent controversy, MVHS administration has stated that there will now be a strictly enforced dress code for water athletics. 

     The older generations of MVHS students have been complaining for years that there should be a dress code  for Mission Viejo High Schools athletic programs that compete in the pool. 

     A Facebook group had originated earlier this year called, “Dresscode Mission Swimmers.” Their bio states, “We are concerned parents about our children exploiting themselves and using the pool as an excuse to dress inappropriately.”

    This Facebook group spurred in response to the controversy circulating around parents feeling offended by the school’s mascot being “Pablo the Diablo.”

    Before MVHS boys and girls water polo games, a group of older individuals have been protesting the lack of coverage that the team suits provide. 

     An example of a message that could be read on one of the protestors signs read “Ban Speedos,” before the boys water polo game throughout their season. 

     The “DMS” group has been continuously protesting against swimsuits, and have been seen at several water polo games and swim meets chanting slogans such as “have respect for yourselves.” 

     Many students laugh about this because it is out of pocket. However, this protest has led to many parents questioning whether or not if their their children wearing swimsuits in a public high school is “appropriate.”

     After many protests and meetings, MVHS administration will now be enforcing students to wear wetsuits to practices and games starting next year.  

     Mission will be the only high school that will enforce this change. The new dress code states, “MVHS students will only be allowed to wear wetsuits in the pool.” 

     The athletes are furious with this news because wetsuits are uncomfortable and hard to put on. Junior swimmer Jack Harris mentioned, “A wetsuit will make me so much slower because I am so much less aerodynamic in it! Now my chances of getting a CIF qualifying time are ruined!”

     Unfortunately, there is not much the athletes can do in regards to protesting the new dress code rules. They will simply be given the option to quit or to oblige with this adjustment. 

     Swimmers and water polo players are simply outraged. The teams have already expressed their frustration regarding the tanlines that will result from this. 

    Many strongly believe it is ridiculous that the admin has obliged with parents’ complaints. Kai Smith expressed, “It is completely unacceptable that Mission has dress code rules for swimming now! We are practicing in the straight sunlight during the afternoon, and they somehow expect us to be okay with wearing a wetsuit.”

     Since this new change, other athletes have wondered what the future holds for their sport. Will girls volleyball wear leggings instead of spandex?; will track athletes wear loose clothing?; will cheer have to wear a full length uniform?

     Everything is up in the air amid the controversy. It is a huge disappointment for the athletes who have to endure this new adjustment. 

     Some are happy with the change, but many are angered. However, Missions administration stressed that this policy will be strictly enforced.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

Parents vs. Pablo

MVHS Staff
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Parents vs. Pablo

Soheil Khatib Ghavami
Staff Writer

    Starting in the 2022-23 school year, MVHS will have a new mascot. Recently, the parents of Mission Viejo High School students have  spoken out against Pablo the Diablo. Parents and other community members have concerns about our mascot being a devil, quite literally. They claim,”Students should not be worshiping a devil, or diablo.” 

They continued that students have been spotted acting possessed or hypnotized by Pablo at football games. Perhaps that’s why our student section is so involved.  Parents have been seen protesting around the school, and the crosswalk near TK Burger and Taco Bell. They have  created signs a stating. ,”Punish Pablo!” These concerned parents have created a social media group (Parents against Pablo or PAP on Facebook) based on the cause.

     Furthermore, these parents  took their concerns to the school board saying that Pablo offends their religious beliefs. Having their children worship the devil is quite frightening, and they want Pablo out. Some claims from their social media account suggested that they want Pablo replaced by their own “Angel Andy”. 

           They said that he would be a better example and would rather have their students go to a school that is themed by an angel rather than a devil. 

      The Saddlecrack Mountain school board agreed with the parents’ request and have decided that this August Mission will become the MVHS Fighting Angels. The mascot will be the aforementioned Andy. The board also decided to change the school colors from red to blue to accommodate the new mascot.

     Due to the board’s decision, some students have created their own group to  to keep Pablo as their mascot. One interviewed student claimed,” It is ridiculous, all of this is absurd; we love Pablo and it is almost impossible to hate or replace him.”

     Other students have also given passionate statements against the parents and their whole plan to replace Pablo. 

      Recently, there have been many conflicts going on that many people have witnessed. It seems as if the case has brought a division to the high school. The majority of students have divided into two groups: the supporters and the rebels.

    The supporters  are in favor of Pablo remaining as the mascot.However, the rebels have been influenced by their parents and are protesting the cause themselves. There have been a few disputes between the groups and it seems as if the controversy is getting worse, and maybe out of hand.

     In conclusion, the two different groups are creating a split between the students and the parents. The rebellious group will continue to protest and update their social media. In the coming days hopefully the Pablo problem will be solved and the disputes on campus will also slow down. 

     As of now, the District is not backing down from their decision, and the new name mascot will be in place in August.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

 

Mr. Zides Leaves MVHS to Appear on Dancing with the Stars

Jim Marsoobian
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Mr. Zides Leaves MVHS to Appear on Dancing with the Stars

Jim Marsoobian
Opinion Editor

The hit show, Dancing with the Stars, is taking a new approach for the next season: it’s Dancing with the Stars: Education Celebration!

Credit: American Broadcasting Company

     Dancing with the Stars: Education Celebration! is the new, inclusive theme of the next season of the hit show. The show wanted to highlight the education superstars from across the nation, as a way to celebrate the hard work that they put into their jobs. Inspired by the hardships that education employees faced especially in the era of distance learning, Dancing with the Stars set out to find the most talented people in education to create a new form of the show.

     The show, which typically features duos of celebrities and professional dancers, will now feature duos of celebrities and teachers, administration, janitors, and principals. Hosted by Ryan Seacrest, Pitbull, Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305, Rick Astley, and Michael Bublé’s cousin.

       And it was quite a surprise when Mr. Zides, Mission’s very own assistant principal, received his Dancing with the Stars letter in the mail. As it turns out, he has a very impressive background in dancing.

     At the age of 11, Zides was enrolled in JIF (not the peanut butter): the Junior International Flamenco Education. After becoming a master of flamenco by only age 15, he moved on to a form that was most passionate to him: break-dancing. Since then, he continues to dance every weekend at the Groovy Breakdance Club of Mission Viejo. But when the opportunity for him to compete in Dancing with the Stars: Education Celebration!, he couldn’t resist.

     Mr. Zides will be very missed when he leaves Mission Viejo High School at the end of the school year. But in the end, this is his chance to finally be himself. “I love this school. But there is something I’ve always been more passionate about: the art of break-dance,” he says.

     Dancing with the Stars: Education Celebration! will premiere September 2nd on ABC networks. A wide range of celebrities will be competing with their education worker counterparts, including Anderson Cooper, Adam Driver, Keanu Reeves, the winner of the last season of the Bachelor, and the winner of the second-to-last season of the Bachelor.

     Publicly released statements from some of the celebrities participating show that they encourage and support the idea of educational workers coming together to dance. A statement, released by the winner of the last season of the Bachelor, said “Even though my relationship is already over, I am excited to be working with these wonderful educational employees because diversity and inclusivity always comes first.” 

      “Woah,” said Keanu Reeves.

     Mr. Zides has already started to practice dancing with his celebrity dance partner: Sandra Bullock. She is known for her roles in Bird Box, The Blind Side, and the 1998 animated film, The Prince of Egypt. When asked about her experience so far, Sandra Bullock quotes, “Zides is one of the most talented dancers I have ever seen. I am honored to dance with him, and I am certain we will win.”

     The star-studded show is sure to be well-anticipated by students and faculty across the campus. A screening of Mr. Zides’ Dancing with the Stars: Education Celebration! will be shown in the gym as classes are paused for the special occasion to watch him dance to “Going the Distance” by Cake.

     At the end of the day, this is the time for Mr. Zides to dance his way to stardom. Though he will be missed, MVHS will always support his break-dancing dreams. 

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

Disney Coming to MVHS

MVHS Staff
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Disney Coming to MVHS

Rebekah Choi
Staff Writer

     Well our district has confirmed that a new Disney Channel movie starring Debby Ryan and Joe Jonas will be filmed at none other than Mission Viejo High School! The school will not be closing down due to filming, but many students will appear on screen as extra high school students and potentially be able to make a cameo on screen.

     In the early 2000’s, the most popular genre of movies for tweens and teens are probably those cringy Disney Channel movies that show the average life of a teenage student in their big highschool. Sometimes you wonder when it will ever happen to me? 

Producers have stated that they chose Mission Viejo High School due to its large open areas outdoors and especially because of its large size. The executive director agreed that out of all El Toro, Trabuco Hills, and Mission Viejo, our school was the best choice.

     The actors and actresses that will appear in the film will be Debby Ryan as Kacey the female lead, Joe Jonas as Brad the male lead, Demi Lovato as Zoe the quirky best friend, Kristen Stewart the Sam the weird emo girl, Hilary Duff as Emily the dumb blonde, and Tobey Mcguire as Mr. Fardin the English teacher. All actors and actresses agree, “I’m so excited to be able to relive my past and star in one of these again”.

     The classrooms used for filming will be filmed in the unoccupied buildings in the 800’s section where Tobey Mcguire will be featured as the wise English teacher that Debbie will go towards for advice. Although the classroom is not as close to where most of the students are at Mission Viejo High School, the directors agreed that most shots will be in the quad and near the theater.

     The producers and fans are concerned about the major problem of how they are going to make the stars look exactly like high schoolers again. They initially were going to only have them use the slang of 2020, and have them dress in VSCO girl clothing. Additionally they would have the guys wear beach shorts with a Ron Jon Surf Shop shirt and hat, but it wasn’t really working.

     Instead they decided to use the power of editing to make the actors and actresses look more youthful and exactly like they did when they first started acting on the Disney Channel. Not only will they remove their wrinkles, but they will “fix” Joe Jonas’ hair to recreate the iconic side swept saggy yet dead hairstyle that covers at least half of his right eye.  For the females, they will be  styled with short and choppy layered hair,low rise jeans with T-shirts that either quote how they feel or with rhinestone floral patterns.

     So far, that is all that is known about the new movie being recreated on our campus, but shooting will take place during the last week of school and end on October 27, 2022. With cameras  being set up around campus and mics probably above your heads soon, make sure to try and make an unforgettable appearance so that you can be the next main character on Disney Channel.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

MVHS’s 2022 Prom Music Leaked!

MVHS Staff
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MVHS’s 2022 Prom Music Leaked!

Brooklyn Baggett
Co-Editor in Chief

Get a sneak peak at what’s going to be played at this year’s prom.

     Mission’s ASB Prom Committee has already been working feverishly at making this year’s prom the best yet- considering that winter formal was on campus and the class of ‘22 missed their junior prom. This includes crafting the perfect playlist for the DJs to mix, and it looks like they’ve already got some ideas cooking. 

     One of our dedicated Dispatch reporters  interviewed an ASB member at the lunch tables by the ASB room last week. When said ASB member got up to leave, they dropped a draft of the playlist, and, well, you’ll see. 

     Listed was an array of upcoming soundcloud rappers, some of which are students at MVHS, who are hoping to make it big one day.

     When confronted about this, a student from ASB stated, “We’ve gotten so many complaints about underground artists not being played at the dances. We thought, you know, there’s a lot of guys out there nowadays mixing their own music, so we talked to some people and we’re charging $200 a song for anyone who wants their music played. Don’t tell anyone that though. We’re trying to keep it lowkey so we don’t overflow with requests.”

     Oops! Sorry about that, ASB, gotta keep it real with our readers, you know?

     Anyways, the playlist draft also read “no explicit music” in bold font, and upon further investigation, it was discovered that this means that the song can’t have any curse words at all, and that censoring them won’t cut it this time.

     “We made this decision because even if the DJs censor vulgar language, it’s almost worse because it leaves this silence where the kids just scream it anyways.”, an administrator, who would like to remain anonymous, stated.

     Because  this restriction eliminates so many popular songs, they have chosen to instead feature songs from the Kidz Bop Ultimate Playlist (2022). This album includes censored versions of everyone’s favorite songs like “Dance Monkey”, “Timber”, “Cake By the Ocean”, “Girls Like You”, “Rather Be”, and so many more.

     Likewise, many other clean songs will be played along with some covers. Hopefully the DJ will come up with some good ways to mix these jams to create the best energy in the crowd. 

     Besides for the DJ, there will be a special appearance from Pitbull during the last 30-45 minutes of the dance, as a sort of “grand finale” to prom. 

     Read “Prom is going to be the ‘Time of Our Lives’” on the Entertainment page for more info on this once in a lifetime experience. 

     Obviously, with Mission’s prom still over a month away, a lot of the plans, including the music, are still in the works at the moment. 

     We won’t know exactly what this year’s prom will look like until the big night comes, but it sure seems like it’s going to be a lot different than any other dance before on the music end of things.

 

This is an April Fools’ article

Why I Like Masks

MVHS Staff
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Why I Like Masks

Vanessa Mendoza
Staff Writer

People who wear their masks might not only be wearing them to stay safe and healthy.

Credit: Yale Medicine

     Some people may be trying to hide their braces with their masks. They want to avoid nicknames such as brace face, train tracks, metal mouth, and more. With a mask on, you don’t have to worry about people seeing your teeth.

     Now this one goes for a lot of people that I know. If you don’t want to talk to someone on the phone, then don’t! All you have to say is that you’re out and have a mask on. It’s that easy to ignore that phone call from that one person.

     This one is for my makeup wearers. The amount of money that I have personally saved on makeup is amazing. I wasn’t worried about buying new products every month because of wearing makeup every day. Your makeup products will last for a very long time, trust me. 

     This is for people with facial hair. You don’t have to worry about shaving every two days. Save your money and don’t waste it on buying razors and shaving cream when you can just throw a mask on. Just don’t take it off though.

     If you get a nasty pimple or zit on your face, leave it alone. Don’t worry about trying to pop it and worrying about people seeing the scar that you left on your face. Put a mask on and no one will know that it was ever there. You’re the only person who is ever going to see it. Unless it’s on your forehead, then you’re on your own. 

     This one is a stretch but if you see someone in public and want nothing to do with them, pretend you don’t know them. Walk right past them and don’t even look at them. If you make eye contact, it’s over. 

     You don’t have to see people that you aren’t very fond of either. Some people are just not nice to look at but if they have a mask on, you don’t have to see their face. They’re protecting themselves in more than just one way. Then again, this means that you have to be careful around people that consistently wear their mask because they could very well be maskfishing you. 

     You can make any facial expression under your mask. If you’re confused, disgusted, annoyed, sad, happy, shocked, or anything else, your emotions will be hidden by your mask. Just be careful with what you do with your eyes though because there’s no hiding them

     This one is an actual lifesaver and I am not even exaggerating. If you have food in your teeth, don’t worry about that embarrassing moment when someone looks at you and says “ew you have food in your teeth.” Then you panic and keep asking where it is and you can’t get it out. Don’t worry about this situation ever again. Just eat and throw the mask on right after.

     Now yes these are very good reasons why you should wear your mask but they really do protect you. It’s a win-win in most situations. Keep yourself healthy and avoid any and all embarrassment that may come your way.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

Why Babies Will Be the Bane of Existence

MVHS Staff
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Why Babies Will Be the Bane of Existence

Brooklyn Baggett
Co-Editor in Chief

Like it or not, the truth is that children are setting everyone else back in society and making us miserable.

Credit: Worldcrunch.com

     In order for us all to have long, happy, successful lives, children just need to grow up and stop being so immature. We will never get where we want to be as a planet if these troll looking creatures continue to bog us down and annoy us to the point of clinical insanity.

     The Daily National Post (DNP) reported that, based on extensive studies, the world’s collective GPI (genuine progress indicator) would increase by over 40% in five years if children went extinct. The same report also stated that we would be ten times closer to reaching the seventeen sustainable development goals (SDGs) put in place by the United Nations. 

     A separate report from the Discovery Times noted that psychiatric hospitals didn’t start opening until people started having kids. 

      Let’s be honest, kids are selfish leeches. They pull everyone else down by whining all of the time and constantly begging for things. 

     Have you ever heard a little kid cry and scream as their parent drags them out of a store because they wouldn’t buy them a toy?

     This is a prime example of how small children, especially babies, expect everything to be handed to them immediately, or else it feels as if their world is crumbling. 

     On top of this, their often short stature and generally tiny bodies make them difficult to spot and avoid bumping into. It is arguably lazy of them to take years to grow to a normal height at which the rest of us can see them without having to watch our every step to make sure that 1 foot tall people aren’t cutting us off. 

     Don’t even get me started on kids making everyone else feed them. It is disheartening how much we have devolved as a society and coddled our children to the point where they can’t do anything for themselves anymore.

     Hundreds and thousands of years ago, and even today in some traditional civilizations (tribes), children were hunters and gatherers. By the age of one, every kid was spearing wild buffalos with swords and bringing home baskets of fresh fruits and vegetables.

     Now, in 2022, one year olds sit in their highchairs crying to be fed tiny bites of processed food while being closely supervised. 

     If babies continue to be born every day, mankind will most likely go extinct and the world will end by 2075, as reported by The Real Science Dispatch. 

     Many are under the false impression that they continue our life here on earth as a species and the more babies the merrier, but the unfortunate fact is that they are toxic, manipulative, and deserve to be canceled. It’s time for kids to grow up, stop treating everyone the way they do, and stop behaving like they were born last week.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

Hey Wimps Here’s Some Advice

MVHS Staff
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Hey Wimps Here’s Some Advice

Sarah Quiroga
Staff Writer

Some problems are truly tragic and universally experienced, so listen to a stranger for advice.

      Be it a dip in the relationship with a “significant” other; tea going cold after being forgotten (similar to someone who might be reading this), or a leaf not being crunchy enough and leaving no sound when pressure urges it to, everyone deals with hardships. Of course some people’s problems are worse than others and need to be prioritized for the sake of mental health and well-being, and advice is greatly needed for those who are mentally unstable. With another person’s insight and a word of encouragement, it could go a long way. Now allow the writer to grace its readers with some spectacular advice for problems everyone in the world experiences.

      A tear, a mar, an imperfection into something that was once so beautiful but you took it for granted despite the fact it brought joy until it left… the breaking up of internet connection. Truly a terrible thing to the average person and it can leave a gut-wrenching sensation when the internet decides to leave the chat for a second while in the middle of a very important video game or texting session. The progress is lost, nothing is saved, and you’re left there with a frozen screen. 

      At the chance that your device temporarily decides that you shouldn’t be connected with the rest of the world that resides within the electronic, go touch grass. Science has conducted a study that up to 15 channels in the brain turn on and serotonin levels skyrocket by a 69% increase. As a student of the Yellow State of Redlands in the proud city of Texas once said, “People should touch grass for their well being. It brings a similar calmness and reaction in the neural pathways as it would for a dog owner to pet their dog.” Do what they say and touch grass you filthy ass-ociate of Mission Viejo High School. A comrade under the proud colors of red and gold! Goooo Diablos! Hahahaha… please don’t cancel me.

 

      Another tragic and important problem that must be addressed– going through a loss of something important to you… the leftovers you were saving so you could eat them later only to find it gone and eaten by the other leeches of the house. A tale of star-crossed lovers, the leftovers and the hungry child, only to become a tragedy in the end when a sibling, parent, friend, or raccoon ends up stealing the leftovers (or the child in the case of the raccoon). 

      The solutions to prevent this from happening are simple and easy, though. Take an incredible amount of willpower to follow through with. 

      For one option you could do as the squirrels do and collect the food and store it into a safe compartment of your own or hide it behind other things. 

      Another path you could go down is what I’d like to call the “hungry, hungry, hippo” method where you stuff yourself as much as possible in one sitting. No looking back. Just consume. Don’t think, eat. Ignore the horrified looks as you unhinge your jaw to its full potential. Stuff yourself so much to the point you don’t even want leftovers so you rid yourself of the problem. 

      The last is the hardest and trickiest… all the other options are the least risk with totally 0 possible problems but this one… Even so, it is still an option… you eat three proper meals. Every day. Occasional snacks in between but don’t gorge yourself and drink enough water. Exercising may also help with reducing cravings, so you could try that if you want… But that’s highly unlikely you’d ever follow that piece of advice from a random freshman in journalism so feel free to continue the plan of “hungry, hungry, hippo”.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

Protests Run Rampant In MVHS to Change School Schedule

MVHS Staff
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Protests Run Rampant In MVHS to Change School Schedule

Shahyan Pour Teimour
Staff Writer

     Recent controversy over the block schedule has sparked a protest from high school students. Two of Mission’s very own, Wendy Ritz, a junior, and William Cracker, another junior, are leading the protests.

     The controversy first began mid-way through February, which started a group, and is still going today, gaining new followers every single day.

     The group calls themselves, “The Ritz-Cracker Faction” or the RCF for short, due to their leaders’ last names.

     The group’s slogan is “We must be gone, from earlier on!” referring to being let out of school at an earlier time.

     On Wednesday, March 9, 2022, we were able to get group leader Wendy Ritz in for an interview. She explained her stance on the controversial opinion, “We get out of school too late. I get home at 3:30 and have no free time for myself. I have homework, sports, and need at least some sleep.”

     We were also able to interview a couple more students in Wendy and William’s group. Some things they had to say include, “We all agree with Wendy and William,” and “I wanna spend more time in my life doing things I love instead of being at school for most of the day, and then going home just to do more work.”

     Even though it doesn’t seem like the group has made much impact, they have made more progress than you would think. Their protests reached the Saddlecrack Valley Unified District School Board, and a decision was made.

     Starting after spring break, a new schedule will be announced for all students at any high school in  (SVUSD).

     The new schedule will be implemented at Mission Viejo High School (MVHS) first, and will then fan out to other schools in the district, including El Toro High School, Trabuco Hills High School, and Laguna Hills High School.

     The current schedule will be replaced with the following schedule:

     For both even and odd period block days, there will be no more 0 period. 1st and 2nd period will start at 5:50 AM and will end at 7:25 AM. There will be a 12 minute break from 7:25 to 7:37. There will be a 35 minute tutorial period from 7:37 to 8:12. 3rd and 4th  period will begin at 8:20 and will go till 9:55. Lunch will continue to be a 40 minute period from 10 to 10:40. And 5th and 6th period will end the day from 10:45 to 12:20.

 

This is an April Fools’ article.

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